How to Talk to Your Kids About the Los Angeles Fires

Deep breaths…if you are out of the fire and smoke zones you can and must take those deep breaths, inside the zones you and your children need to be careful, the air is likely filled with smoke and particulates;  everyone should be wearing masks, preferably N95s.

There will be plenty of time to discuss the causes, the repercussions, the long and short term responses and the aftermath of the Los Angeles fires, but in the near term, we want to offer you some thoughts and ideas for keeping your children safe and for conversation starters that may arise with them in the coming hours, days and weeks.

Our Climate Mama motto, “Tell the truth, actions speak louder than words and don’t be afraid” is where we will begin.

1. Tell the truth:  Your children will have questions about what’s going on, whether they are safe or not, if their aunts, cousins, friends, neighbors, homes and schools are safe.  Depending on your circumstances, a big question may be, when they can go home. Depending on your proximity to the unfolding disaster, the questions you get will vary.  How should you begin?  Our advice to you, is begin by telling the truth. There is a terrible disaster unfolding in southern California. That is the truth and the reality. No matter how old your child is, this is the happening and saying anything else would be a lie. Your broader answers and explanations however,  need to be measured and adapted to meet your child where they are at and in an age dependent way.

Remember too, to try to just answer the question that is asked. Especially in these raw and immediate times, you don’t need to go into deep explanations (unless that is what is asked for). We will add some resources for you at the end of this post. Are these fires climate related. The answer is yes. The disaster is multi-dimensional, but very briefly, a long drought, coupled with little to no rain since before the summer has set conditions so they are “just right” for fires to burn. Seasonal winds carry those sparks and embers and have spread the fires fast and furious. Fire fighters tell us that as our climate warms (because of human causes), fire days are increasing and fires are burning hotter, faster and longer then in the past.

2. Actions speak louder than words: Show your children that you are listening and they are heard. Don’t speak over them, let them share their thoughts, concerns, angst and more. Hug them, comfort them, hold them. And then show them, through your actions, you are working to keep them as safe as you can. This will mean different things in different situations. If you are in harms way, make sure you find shelter and get to safety. That is your priority. There are many public shelters already set up, or perhaps you have had time to make plans to find safety with family or friends. Let your children know you have a plan and are putting it into action. If you are just outside the zone of danger, have everyone prepare “go bags” including ones for your pets. Make sure you go over your evacuation plans with the whole family, and have a number that everyone knows to call to report in for safety – your service area may be down so others may not be able to reach you. Have a family member or friend that you and others can call to let each others know you are safe.  If you are far away from the fires but have loved ones in harm’s way, let your kids know what you are doing to stay in touch with those in the zone – have your kids write letters, notes, texts, or draw pictures – create a way for your child to know they are doing something directly to ease the pain of what others are going through. There are things you can do today, this week, this month and this year to address our unfolding climate reality – an important part is taking care of your own and your children’s emotional well being. Your mental health is as equally important as your physical well being, so don’t skip this step. Also, when things are safe and back to “normal” doing your small part to lessen your family’s own climate pollution, making plans to be safe if disasters fall our way in the future, and finding ways to demand that those who can go big must are all ways that families can work together to address the climate crisis.

For those kids that are old enough and may already be concerned about climate change, there may be an added layer of angst, perhaps compounded with the reality that we have a President-elect and party that hasn’t taken the climate crisis seriously. The good news (and bad news) is that the reality of what is happening right now in Los Angeles is a clear sign of what our actions have caused, and science gives us clear reasons to help explain this. So, as far as actions to take to  address the realities we face, these too are known and things we all can do. (We have shared many ideas over the years – you can find these in our blog posts and on our resources page.)

3. Don’t be afraid: We want to suggest addressing this head on as well. There are so many reasons to be afraid. Feeling those feelings is something that shouldn’t be denied, in fact so many feelings come into play, in and around our climate reality. But being afraid and burying your head in the sand, or feeling helpless, those are feeling that should be addressed and ones that over time can and must be changed. Everyone can do something. The reality of what we have created as we have fueled our climate crisis and put our planet out of balance are here and now. However, science tells us each 1/10 of a degree of warming that we can slow down or stop –  matters. So what we do, what we say, all matters. Remind your children of this. Share with them that you too may be afraid, and that is a normal, valid feeling. Share those moments together and then push through to action. We can all support one another, from near and far, as we build our resiliency and demand that everyone works to slow down the unfolding crisis around us. We can give our children and ourselves more time and work together to address the climate crisis!

Do you have stories you want to share with others? We are happy to share them here on ClimateMama. Send them to [email protected]

Support Resources to help your children (and you) deal with what is happening:

• Climate Mental Health Network: Parent Resources, Climate Emotions Wheel
• Save the Children: California Wildfires FAQs
• American Academy of Pediatrics: Wildfires
• County of Los Angeles: Emergency Updates
• Send funds to help those in need: Emergency Network Los Angeles

With love and support,

Your Climate Mama